joy in suffering

I am going to have to be leaving Kolkata a few days earlier than planned. I have been fighting Typhoid Fever for several days now, and I've decided the best plan of action is to spend these last days recovering at home. The past two and a half weeks have undeniably been the hardest of my life, but also the most fruitful. I have learned more in a relatively short period of time than I thought possible. Up until now, my relationship with God has been largely dependent on my circumstances. I have not suffered well for God or with God. In Kolkata, I learned that suffering is an important part of the sanctification process. When I suffer here, I feel the Lord here with me, guiding me, and encouraging me. I called out for his help and guidance, instead of trying to do things on my own. I didn't do this because I was suddenly enlightened, I did this because here I had no other options. Everything on this earth that I've come to know and rely on was taken from me: my physical health, my family and loved ones, my country, physical and emotional comfort, and many of the other good things God has given me that I make into idols. The next 36 hours are going to be extremely difficult, but I now realize that challenges really do present great opportunity. All these things I have been taught for so long, and I thought I understood, are finally becoming an internalized reality. I want to celebrate and praise God for every little victory between now and the time I see my parents in the airport. But I want to praise Him in the suffering and waiting as well. The latter is certainly the greater challenge. I feel that I am going home better equipped to do the work God has called me to do in St. Louis. I no longer want to live in a state of worry or uncertainty about the future. I want to trust in His perfect plan. Where I am right now is exactly where I am supposed to be, and I know that the Lord must have great confidence in me to do His work since he has placed me right here, right now.